I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
