So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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