haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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