What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
