Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize