it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
