apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
