Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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