Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
