My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
