Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
