Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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