The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it's great music for shaving your balls
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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