She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
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I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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