I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
