You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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