you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
