'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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