You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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