I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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