I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
