I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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