Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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