dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
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Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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