Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
