First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
