But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
