Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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