I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
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Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.