what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sorry about my life...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
