I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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