i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
