Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
