so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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