I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
