I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
