***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
there's paper in my vomit.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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