You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I see more hoeing in ur future
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
