I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
