remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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