This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Houston, we have a blender
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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