what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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