he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
