I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
