We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
