i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
