My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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