I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
BRING THE BAGELS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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