It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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