You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
