happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
