i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
