So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
