It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
