wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just pee around me
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
