thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
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You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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