It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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