Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
