Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
