Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
