After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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