I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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