HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
